A foreign womans perspective to dating in Taiwan

I was a little bit shocked to see an article that recapped many things I think about dating in Taiwan, but blogged by a female. You can see and respond to the original post here http://www.therealtaiwan.com. The original artical has been defiled by my musings, but I was nice enough to do a color seperation.

Dating in Taiwan: A Foreign Woman’s Perspective

By Bee • January 25, 2010

Somewhere in the fictional version of New York City, Samantha Jones and Carrie Bradshaw are shedding tears for me. After 9 months of living in Taipei, I’ve just about given up on men in Asia. I have years and years of sadness piled up before you... but I'm sure Carry and Samantha do not endear as warmly to the male endeavor.
I’m not converting to lesbianism by any means, but I suppose I’ve abandoned the idea that I will meet anyone worthwhile during my stint in Asia.
In case you haven’t already figured it out, foreign women get the short end of the dating stick over here. We are hands down, the least sexually satisfied demographic in Asia.
I did an unscientific poll and asked female foreigners living in Taipei, Hong Kong, Tokyo and Seoul what their dating and sex life is like and almost all of them gave me the same answer- it’s non-existent. They all agree that celibacy and singledom is a begrudgingly accepted part of life.
I won’t bother getting into how easy it is for any male ex-pat to find a girlfriend and/or f&ck buddy. We’re all aware of this fact and have certainly seen mismatched couples consisting of bombshell local chicks with ‘bottom of the barrel-esque’ foreign guys. Now speaking as the local troll, I have seen the mismatched expat with the bombshell and wondered.... Whats a guy gotta do? Guys may be a little more flexible on accepting that fu ck buddy, but I will tell you the non-drinking strictly ballroom dance kind of guy does not seem to have a chance here? I refuse to play the 'my benz is bigger than yours' game, and that don't leave a person with much here.
If I sound bitter, I’m not. I am :)
I’ve had more than my fair share of mock-relationships with both locals and foreigners. Hell, I even had a short-term fling with a Taiwanese celebrity. Trust me, I’ve seen the broad spectrum of men Taipei has to offer.
But, if you want to know why female ex-pat’s have a tough time finding a boyfriend or decent fling the answer is simple: we are the unwanted demographic.
Unwanted.
I don’t have a bloated sense of entitlement nor do I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to men. If I could find a Don Draper + Daniel Henney + Johnny Depp mix of a man I’d probably spontaneously combust from the endorphins alone but, I know that’s never going to happen. And in Taipei? Hell. F&cking. No.
The simple fact remains that both locals and foreign guys have no interest in dating us. Now this is the interesting part, I know many locals that want to date you, but its more the 'I want to have sex with a westerner' experimentation than really wanting a relationship.
Let’s start with locals:
‘Unwanted-ness’ is a two-way street especially with this group. Here’s my justification for that statement:
1) Physical attraction to locals for me- dwindles at a very, very low percentage. Puffy hair, shiny marshmallow jackets, skinny jeans and flip flops in the winter don’t exactly get my panties soaking. Maybe local men are an acquired taste, like betelnut? I find both revolting but, that’s just me… And thats what keeps me straight.
2) The language barrier is a huge strike, because in case you didn’t already know- women love talking. Decent communication can be shirked initially, however the minimal scope of topics can get old, real quick. Interestingly enough, speaking excellent Chinese does not resolve this problem for men, and Taiwanese girls are frequently the "I wanna do what you wanna do" nightmare right out the movie "Coming to America".
3) Local guys are very shy compared to foreigners. You can’t come on too strong nor can you wait around for them to make the first move. Rock and a hard place, anyone? Being shy was cute in high school. It isn’t anymore. I think you should read my in depth experiments on attempting to get eye contact, let alone a conversation with a local.
4) How many local guys do you know who would be open-minded about dating a foreigner? I wouldn’t imagine very many and if they exist, they must be hiding under a bridge somewhere.
Suffice to say, a foreign woman dating a local man probably won’t end up working out. Unfortunately I have to agree, the chances are rare... If you looking for a buddy, you do have a few Taiwanese trolls under the bridge i promise... but its a conquest fu.k and nothing else.
So now, let’s move onto the foreign men:
We aren’t considered desirable because for most guys it’s a ‘been there, done that’ type of attitude. Actually if you want to know the truth, for myself there is the over domineering self entitled girls from home that lost their appeal to me. I don't like to drink and club and that's the bottom line. Not to say I am not attracted, but whenever I get to the nod hello point with a western girl i normally get the... i want the skinny gay jap pop guy with fake glasses behind you look.
1) Male ex-pats come to Asia to experience the culture and more importantly to become acquainted with the local chicks. For many of them this is their first taste of Asian women. Why would they bother with a native speaker? They can go back home in a year or two and find plenty of girls like us over there. Hmmm, what some of us wouldn't give to have an in depth conversation fully of corny humor and sexual innuendo and all of the things that make conversation good an wholesome. Some of us aren't going back home in a year or two.
2) The language barrier works in their favor. Most foreigners know they don’t have to ‘really’ be serious about this girl because it can’t go anywhere. It’s a fling and breaking up with a girl because of communication issues is one of the best and most legitimate excuses a guy can have in Asia. Really? Really Really? Us guys up here have a saying. Be careful of the toothbrush. Once a Taiwanese girl gets her toothbrush in your house, its all over. There is no getting rid of her because the next day the hair dryer will be there. And Taiwanese woman typically don't go postal and yell and incite a fight, there is no way to get rid of them, even if you think its not working out. A foreign guy will want us is if he’s been in Asia for a while and MISSES having a decent, witty and smart conversation. Lool you hit the nail on the head.
3) Local women will let foreign guys treat them like crap without consequence and stick around. Many foreign guys I’ve spoken to admit that they know they can get away with murder when it comes to locals. As much as the guys crave the ‘Asian’ experience in Taiwan, these women crave the ‘Western’ experience and will put up with Johnny American being a jerkoff, just because his blonde hair and blue eyes are just so darn cute. Foreign women have a lower tolerance when it comes to bullshit and guys are well aware of this. Sticking to the local demographic bodes well for the Western player. Can you introduce me to some of these 'guys' cause homeslice needs some lessons. I so completely disagree with this, I am not saying it doesn't happen. But the couples that I do know, the foreign guy is normally 10times as patient its very rare I see the Johnny American, unless they are on the goober "i cant get any other job in the US but teaching in Taiwan so lets park the trailer go fck the Asian" package. (Unfortunately I have met a few of those and they really need beat because they help propagate anti-foreigner sentiment).
4) A lot of male expats come to Asia because they can’t score with chicks back home. Physically inferior and socially inept in the West can equate to Brad Pitt-likeness in the eyes of a local. If we didn’t want you back home, we won’t want you over here. Nuh uhh you did not just go there girl?!? If your looking for the greek god, go back to Cali and do a 1 in 5 tummy tuck guy with the almond tan and great ass and get a divorce in a year when he finds the next tootsie roll girl, I mean go on... live that American dream.
As you can see, the odds are simply not in our favor. We have more things working against us than for us. Yes, I knew coming to Asia would mean a significant downturn in my dating life. I’m simply making generalizations related to the difficulties most foreign women face while living here.
If all I wanted were just a bang, it wouldn’t be very hard. But, it’s not about sex or a lack thereof. I just want someone whose company I can enjoy during my time here.
If it goes somewhere, great.
If it doesn’t, that’s fine too.

You might not agree with the points I made, but unless you’re a female in my situation then you really wouldn’t understand. I’m always hoping that I’ll meet a guy who will break the stereotypes I listed above. I refuse to remain jaded and cynical. I want to enjoy my time here in Taipei and share it with someone.
Maybe I just need to morph into a local. Do I slap on some fake lashes, rock a pair of shiny tights and carry a purse with sequins in order for a decent guy to want to take me out on a date?
Say it ain’t so cause, I really hate neon clothing. I know you think its just a girl thing. If I want to go to lava and dance to Taiwanese gangsta rappers, or get drunk at the KTVs sure it will happen. But don't let yourself go down there its just as bad as the California scenario above.

Anyway, I really appreciated this article because it indicates to me that its not only a guys problem, but a expat problem in general. Some interesting facts, the average Taiwanese couple have sex about one time a month. Taiwan's population is decreasing steadily and the gay and lesbian communities are thriving. Prostitution in Taiwan is among the most expensive countries in the world and they are talking about making it legal again. All of these things paint a poor long term portrait for the sustainability of Taiwan. Sometimes I wonder, if procreation continues at this rate, is it really necessary for people like me to spend so much time working on the foreigner image?